hungry

The next morning Will was the one who woke me up. That morning we both had to work at nine. It was seven o' clock when Will woke me up.

I never was much of a morning person in the first place, and this morning wasn't any different. It was so warm and cozy in my sleeping bag, which made getting up even worse.

"Hey before we leave, we have to make Dustin coffee and bring him a packed bowl of weed or else it will be ugly." Will said as I rubbed my eyes.

"really?? He gets mad if you don't??" my mouth was sticky with thirst.

"Mad is an understatement."

It seemed ridiculous to me that we were expected to act like Dustin's slaves or something even though we all paid the same amount for rent. However, I had seen a glimpse of Dustin's angry side the night before, and decided to just go along with it. Will tried to talk Dustin into driving us to work so we didn't have to walk, but he refused. He didn't feel like leaving the house yet, so we were on our own.

I quickly tied my hair into braids, got dressed and grabbed my cigarettes before we made our way out the door. I enjoyed the walk at first. The sun was still low to the ground and it was really cool and breezy. Plus I enjoyed talking to Will, telling each other stories of our past as we walked the three mile trip to work.

By the time we got there, I was both starving and dying of thirst. I couldn't really get away with eating food at work, but I could make all the protein shakes I wanted, so thats what I did. I loved experimenting with them as well, mixing different flavors, combining them with loads of protein powder and every other health powder we had around.

Perhaps the one meal a day and protein shakes would have been enough if I wasn't walking six miles a day, but it just wasn't cutting it. I was already skinny before, but after a few weeks of hardly eating and walking constantly, I noticed myself start to disappear. My ribs were bulging out even more, and when I laid down flat my stomach curved in between my hips making anyone laying next to me able to see down my pants. However my legs were bigger than before, I assumed from the protein shakes and walking. For weeks I lived like this. Occasionally I would take an adderall just for the fact that it would make it easier to deal with the hunger pains.

Eventually the hunger got too much to bare, that I resorted to something I hadn't done for nearly two years.

Steal.

It started out with little things, maybe a sandwich I wrapped in my apron as I left or a bag of chips while my manager was on break. However I realized I needed food for at home too so I came up with the perfect system of getting the things I needed.

Every night I had to close, I would store "to go" containers of food from the deli in one of the mini fridges. After Lari left, I would put the food into plastic bags and then sneak out to the patio area and hide the food in the bushes, that way I could just sneak up to the side of the building on our walk home and take it with me.

It was great for a little while. I had food to each through out the day, more energy, but it turned out to be short lived.

Dustin started asking questions about the mysterious food in the fridge. I will not forget the crooked smile on his face when I told him it was stolen. I could see the thoughts coming up in his mind as he realized another way to take advantage of me. From that point on, any food I stole was for him as well, and sometimes it was our dinner and suddenly he was no longer expected to buy something for everyone, even though he collected money for groceries. He would still make meals at times, but usually only when he got tired of the deli foods. Dustin was usually given first pick of the food which left my meals usually consisting of corn tortillas from the mexican grocery, peanut butter, and occasionally granola.

I started working enough hours that I had a little extra money for food, but instead I decided to spend it on weed and booze from Dustin, knowing that it would probably get taken anyways.

One day when I was home alone I decided to look in Dustin's closet for some reason. My stomach dropped when I saw the mass amount of guns and ammunition he had packed in there. I realized maybe that was why Will never stood up for himself. When he got home that night I asked him "why are you even friends with Dustin?"

"Well we've been friends for years now, I guess you just get used to him". he said flatly.

I never got used to him.

Surprise!

Since we had such a late night, and I didn't have to work, I was hoping to sleep in a few hours.  However I was woken up around nine O'clock by Dustin.  Will was already sitting across from me looking as tired as I was and Dustin was walking around quickly apparently trying to clean the house up a bit.

"My mom, Grandma and little brother are going to be here any second." Dustin told me.

"Don't they live in Arkansas?" I said

"yeah, but they just happen to be in town today and wanted to stop by.  I just thought I would warn you."

I looked over at Will who smiled and shook his head. "They are REALLY spiritual people. Dustin's mom has a way of looking at you in the eyes and making you feel like the biggest lump of shit in the world." he said

Almost right after the words left his mouth I saw them coming up the driveway and around to the stairs.  I hadn't even looked at myself in the mirror, but I could already tell i looked like shit.  Not to mention the fact that I hadn't brushed my teeth yet, or even the night before.

They walked into the house without knocking, holding a few bright yellow pots and pans for Dustin.  Dustin came out and they covered him with hugs and kisses before taking a look at Will or I.  They had known Will already since Dustin and him had been friends for like a billion years, so Dustin introduced them to me.  They seemed to keep a safe distance as they said hello, which I was perfectly fine with. They looked at me as if I were some nasty hooker they picked off the street, and I quickly discovered what Will had been talking about.

After starring at me for a few seconds, as if trying to figure me out, they started chitchatting with the boys about how they'd been.  Will had been struggling with some sort of flu or something for about two weeks he claimed, and told them he was going to try and find a cheap doctor to go to sometime soon.

"Oh Will, you don't need a doctor." Dustin's mom said " Have you been praying about your sickness and asking the Lord to heal you??"

"yes, but Im still sick so I think I'm going to go to the doctor."

"Well, Obviously your faith is weak.  Otherwise you would be healed by now."

After saying that they both came over to where he was seating and started saying a prayer to strengthen Will's faith and to heal him of his sickness.  I was waiting for him to start convulsing and fall to the floor like on T.V. but nothing happened.

After they were finished, almost immediately his grandmother turned to me and asked "Have you been saved????"

"yes, a long time ago." I said quickly, afraid they were going to come over and pray for me too.  His grandmother just looked at me very serious, I suppose trying to figure out if I were lying or not and then turned away again.

Thankfully they weren't there very long and left after chit chatting a little bit more with Dustin and Will.  As soon as he saw their car pull off down the road, Dustin ran into his room and grabbed his pot and pipe and suggested I get my own out as well because he didn't feel like sharing unless I was throwing in.  I did as he said because after what had just happened, I really needed a smoke.  I hadn't been that uncomfortable in a very very long time.

I finished smoking and after finally seeing myself in the mirror, decided to take a shower.  The shower wasn't bad but there was no shampoo, only some sort of japanese body soap which I applied heavily from head to toe. The other down side was that I didn't have a towel, so I tried to air dry as much as possible and then used my sweatshirt for the rest.  It wasn't fun but it worked and I felt a whole lot better when I got out.

A little while after I got out of the shower Dustin had to leave for work.  He worked as a valet which apparently paid pretty well in the winter park area.  It was about 4 by that time and I was starving but there was absolutely no food to speak of.  Supposably my included "one meal a day" was dinner only, and would be whatever Dustin decided to cook. No questions asked.  Will was hungry too but I guess had gotten used to not eating.  He told me he had lost about 20 pounds since moving to florida from all bike riding and lack of food.  Will and I spent the day playing guitar hero and chain smoking cigarettes.  I tried my best to avoid smoking any weed because it didn't help with my hunger situation.

Dustin got home around 10 carrying some groceries from the chinese mart down the block.  I followed him into the kitchen to see what he was making and was really surprised at what I saw.  He pulled out a large pink cube that kind of resembled tofu that was wrapped in banana leaves.  Dustin informed me that it was pork, though I had NEVER seen pork like this before in my life.  Dustin wasn't a bad cook but the food was definitely different from what I was used to.  We had a little bit of rice, pork cubes with soy sauce and a couple of pieces of chinese bread.  The bread was the best.  It was extremely soft and sugary and practically melted in your mouth. I probably could have eaten thirty of them.  The food was strange but I was so thankful to finally be eating that I didn't care.  When we finished eating, Dustin's personality seemed to change a bit.  Suddenly he was really mad at Will and I for not cleaning up the apartment while he was gone.  He screamed at us a for a little while, ignoring our apologies, before going into his room, slamming the door behind him.  Will and I just kinda sat there. "He does this shit all the time" Will said "Just give him a few minutes to smoke some weed and he will be fine."

Sure enough a few minutes later his door opened and a big cloud of smoke rolled out into the living room.  Dustin was smiling again and walked in as if nothing had happened, and immediately started playing video games without saying a word.

I curled up in my sleeping bag and watched Dustin snipe Germans before I finally found myself drifting to sleep.  My experience with Dustin and Will had been very strange to say the least, but I was so thankful to finally be away from Lance. God had saved me and I had no idea why.

The new place

I couldn't stop smiling that day at work.  I was so happy that things seemed to be turning around.  I felt this great weight lift from my chest now that I was free of Lance.  I was still a little afraid that he might come in to work and find out my lie.  I would have to start walking home with Will after work so what if he saw us together?  I pushed the thought away and tried to imagine what my new place was going to look like.  It wouldn't be that hard to top off the place I had been staying, thats for sure.

Will tried to go over a few things with me during the day. He explained that Dustin had a car, but also worked so wouldn't be able to drive us most likely.  There was only one bike, but Will said that if we worked the same day he would go ahead and walk with me, otherwise we could just share the bike.  Normally we would be expected to walk home that night, but since I was a new resident, Dustin was going to come pick us up.  Will also warned me about Dustin.  "Dustin is a little hard to understand I think"

"what do you mean?"

"well it's just that he can be a little crazy and controlling.  He's not a bad guy or anything, he's just a little different than most people."

"oh" I said  "thats okay, I think I can handle it.."

"and one other thing.  Girls are always really attracted to Dustin and he knows it.  He's really good at getting what he wants, so just be careful.  Promise you won't do anything??"

"I promise.  I doubt it will be a problem."

Dustin showed up a little before we were completely finished cleaning and I found myself a little shy all of the sudden when I saw him walk in.  Will was right, he was a pretty attractive guy.  He was tall but had a muscular build, long brown hair and a really nice smile.  He didn't really seem like he was that weird, other than the fact that he talked like a surfer dude.  He explained to me again what Will had told me about the house.  That I would sleep on the couch, get one meal a day for 350.00 dollars a month and it was going to be due as soon as I got my pay check.  I agreed again and we packed all my stuff in his beat up truck.  Dustin drove some really old black truck with a stick shift.  The speaker on the left side would go out a lot which would cause him to get angry and hit it until it came back on.  I couldn't tell if it was just because we were in a truck, or if Dustin was just a crazy driver, but I was thankful for the single strap that kept me secured to the seat.

The ride wasn't very long in the car, thank goodness.  We stepped out onto the street to what seemed to be a cute little house that had been divided into apartments.  It was divided into three parts.  On the bottom lived a really fat lesbian with a bunch of dogs and next to her was some mysterious man who's apartment consisted of a single room from what I could tell.  We were located at the top of the building.  When I first walked in, I was pleasantly surprised.  It was really small, but cute.  It consisted of two bedrooms, a living room, bathroom, kitchen and some sort of porch looking area in the front.  You walked into the sun porch first and to the left was a living room.  It was decorated with three really old looking sofa's and only two of them matched.  There were a couple tables, a TV.a lamp,  and a book shelf that was decorated with a few strange books about martial arts, some strange carvings, an army helmet and a bunch of knives.  The bathroom was small and instead of a shower curtain, Dustin had strung a camouflage rain jacket over the rail, which seemed to work alright.  The kitchen was small as well, but it had all you needed, however, their silverware was very limited, consisting of two forks, three pairs of chop sticks and three asian soup spoons.  The bedrooms were the best part.  They were located on each side of the book shelf.  Each room wasn't that big, but big enough it seemed, and there were more windows than walls.  I loved it because when you would lay down on the bed the palm trees  outside made you feel as if you were in the tops of some tropical forest, and It was very peaceful.  Unfortunately I would be staying in the living room that only had one small window, which looked out to the house next door.

After Dustin gave the tour of the house he asked me If i smoked weed, which I answered yes by showing him the stash I had gotten from neil and carly before leaving.  Dustin smiled and then ran to his room, returning with a bong and some sort of strange pot he kept his weed in.  We all sat down and took turns hitting the bong and I felt myself relax.  Dustin gave me a blue sleeping bag to use since I didn't have any blankets and we all finally went to bed just as the sun was starting to come up.  Thankfully neither Will nor I had to work the next day.

Freedom

That night i didn't even bother pretending I was interested in Lance like I usually did and I could tell Lance was catching on. On the drive home I stared out the window in silence, thinking about how I was going to do it, how I was going to leave without Lance stopping me. I didn't really think he would lock me up or anything, but I just really didn't know how he would react. One thing I decided was that I couldn't wait another day. I couldn't wait to find out yes or no from Will.. I was going to chance it and just pack my stuff up and go to work.

That night went a little different than usual. Lance was distant, as if lost in his thoughts and didn't look happy. I told him I was on my period so that he wouldn't try to do anything with me that night and it worked. I sat in bed next to him and waited for him to pass out before I got up and started packing my things. My plan was to pack up my stuff and just start walking to the bus stop and go to work, but first I was going to stop at CVS and get an emergency contraceptive, there was no way I was having his baby. I had just finished and was zipping up my bag when Lance woke up. He looked at me almost with what looked like fear, and sat up quickly. "What are you doing??"

"Im leaving you Lance, I can't do it anymore."

"What do you mean? I thought you were happy, I have given you a place to stay and eat and now you are leaving me?? Why??"

Because I HATE you. Because you have ruined my life. Because you are old and balding and thinking about what you do to me every night makes me want to hurl. Because no matter how many times I wash my body I can never rid myself of the filth you have driven into me. I screamed these thoughts in my head and I wanted so bad to say them to him, but instead I lied again.

"because I miss my family and I just need to go back home. There's no way you can stop me so don't try, I will die trying."

He was silent for a moment staring at me before he finally spoke again. " Fine. Just at least wait until tomorrow please, its not safe for you to walk out here at night"

I wondered if this was a trick and then decided that i actually believed him and agreed. I was starting to get tired anyways. Plus i had been to busy worrying about Lance that I didn't even think about the people lurking out on those streets at night. I climbed back into bed and waited for Lance to sleep, but instead of hearing snores, I heard him crying. It was strange and I ALMOST felt bad, but I knew he was going to let me go and I couldn't have been happier.

The next morning Lance seemed angry. He stomped around his room and his face was empty and cold. He told me Carly would drive me to work and then he sat me down and looked me in the eyes really close. "just promise me you aren't leaving me for some other guy." His grip was tight now.

"I promise. Im going to stay with Teresa from work until I can get a ticket."

"I hope you aren't lying to me." his words gave me chills because I was lying and had no idea what he would do if he found out.

I got my stuff together and Carly dropped me off at work, she seemed sad I was leaving but I think she also understood. I gave her a hug and lugged my things into work. Everyone there looked at me strange when I came in. It looked as if I planned on moving in! I tucked my things under a cabinet and explained to Teresa and Lari what I was doing. Then remembering the "problem" that still lingered inside of me, I made my way to CVS. I went to the counter and asked for an emergency contraceptive. It had only been 48 hours so I was still okay and I said a quick prayer that it would work as I swallowed the pills and then made my way back to work.

Will came in and looked surprised to see all my stuff there already. " I know that you haven't given me your answer yet but I just HAD to get out of there, I don't care if I have to sleep on the street tonight."

"well you won't have to do that because Dustin said yes." I could have done a dance right then and there at the news, but i decided not to make a scene

"The only thing is, he said that you will have to pay 350.00 a month and in return you will get a place to sleep and one meal a day."

"Thats fine! Anything. Thank you so much, I'm so happy right now you couldn't even understand." I said

Yeah the money was kinda pricey. I only made a little over 400 each paycheck after taxes but at this point I didn't care. I was finally free!

Break Down

After being gone nearly two months, my mother decided to talk to me again.  She even mailed me a couple boxes with a few more outfits and thankfully, some more underwear.  I told her that I was in love with Lance and having the time of my life.  I was surprised at how easy it was to say now, though I felt so completely opposite.  I usually just talked about my job and the people there, it was a lot easier to talk about work because I actually did love my life there.

One day things at home with Lance went from bad to worse.  I think Lance must have been catching on to the strong desire I had growing in me to leave things there, that he started to panic.  Sometimes he would grab hold of my shoulders and look at me in the eyes and with such a pitiful voice say "Please don't leave me".  I would assure him I would do no such thing but I could tell in his eyes he didn't believe me, but I was never that great of a liar. He had even given me an iPod Nano he had found at work, perhaps as a sort of bribe. Then one night, while I was wasted as usual, he decided to try and get me pregnant.  

Perhaps it was because I was too drunk to really realize what  had happened , or I just tried to avoid it all together,  but it didn't really get through my head what Lance did until the next day.

I went to work that morning and as much as I tried, I could not stop thinking about what was about to happen to my life.  I wanted to just reach through my skin and pull out what he had put inside of me, but I knew that was impossible.  The first half of my day until lunch seemed to drag along, which wasn't normal for me.  Chamberlin's was my escape from everything, but this seemed to be something that wouldn't leave me alone.

When it was my lunch break I went out to the side and sat on one of the benches in the square.  I put on my new Ipod and tried to get lost in the music.  I chain smoked cigarettes in a attempt to loosen the tightness in my chest, but it only helped for the duration of the drag before consuming me once more.  I decided to walk around the square for a while and think.  The music seemed to fall around me like a shell of some sort and I felt myself separate from the world.  There was a line in the song I was listening to that went " I am finding now, that maybe I was wrong.  That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone."  I couldn't help but to just start crying, and I mean sobbing.  Everything I had been holding in for so long came bursting out and I didn't care.  I just turned the music up loud and let it out.  I walked around and people stared at me but I didn't care.  I felt God telling me to let go.. to stop controlling to ask for help and the feeling was overwhelming.  I sat down on another bench and watched people as I continued crying.  Most people would either pretend I wasn't there or look at me awkwardly as they walked by. Then a girl came and sat down next to me. I was almost angry at first, I didn't really want to talk to anyone, but to just sit there and feel sorry for myself.  She was about thirteen and appeared to be with her grandmother and little brother.  She put her arms around me and asked what was wrong.  " I told her that I had messed up my life, and I didn't know what to do."  She gave me a hug and told me that it would get better and that she was here for me. She talked to me some more for a while, some stories about people she had known that were hurting and what not, but I didn't really hear all of it.  However there was something about her presence I found comforting. When she finally got up and  followed her grandmother, I went back to my sobbing once more.  I just wasn't done letting it all out, and I was more than surprised when she came back and handed me a giant chocolate covered pretzel.  She smiled at me and told me things would get better and bounced away.  I stared at the pretzel in my hand and I felt at peace once more.  I had finished crying, and in good time too because my lunch hour was over.  I walked back to work slowly, letting all my thoughts rattle through my head as I tried to figure out what I was going to do. I walked through the sliding glass doors and tried to hide the fact that I had been crying, but failed miserably.  Will shot me a concerned look and I told him the story of what happened later that night as I waited for my ride.  

"I just need to get out of there, but I have no where to go" I said as I took a drag of my last cigarette. ( I had just bought the pack that morning )

Will sat quietly for a while looking at his shoes thinking I suppose before he spoke up again.  "You know, I could probably talk to Dustin and see if you can come stay with us?"

"really?" 

"Yeah, I don't think you should be in that place anymore."

"that would be amazing and really mean a lot to me.  I honestly don't know what I would do without you." and just as the sentence left my mouth, I noticed Lance pulling into the lot.

"Well let me know tomorrow" I asked before finally climbing into the car.

Getting started

I never got sick of working while I lived with Lance.  It was my escape, a chance for me to pretend that I wasn't falling apart inside.  I still hadn't cried about anything since the airport but I could feel it sitting in the pit of my stomach, twisting and knotting, waiting to break me down.  I was good at pretending everything was fine though, and could even laugh and joke with Teresa all day.  

Will was really quiet , I guess he was just really shy, but I had to start talking to him first.  I asked him all sorts of questions because I wanted to see what he was all about.  He was from Arkansas and had been talked into moving to Orlando by his roommate and best friend Dustin.  He was from some little town with nothing going on, and had gone to school at some christian university for a while before coming here.  I enjoyed talking about life and past adventures with him, and I found that he was a really sweet patient person.  He seemed to be the only one around there who sensed I wasn't as happy as I tried to come off as.

We really didn't have too much in common, other than having a broken past and both experimenting with drugs to help deal.  For some reason I found myself asking him lots of questions about God and the bible and what he thought about things.  God had always felt so far away to me, as if he were always busy with other things and didn't have time to worry about what was going on in my life.  However, I found myself thinking about him more and more.  I felt for some reason, that I had his attention and he had something to say. I just hadn't heard it yet.

Chamberlin's was such a weird place.  Everyday at least one or two people tried to convince me to go vegan, however I found their argument lacking as I looked at their petite pale frames.  Every single one of them looked as if a slight breeze could knock them over.  One woman who worked in the vitamin and supplements asked me one day if I chose to work at Chamberlins because I was a vegetarian like her. "Oh no" I said " Don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I like eating them too."  She just stared at me for a while as if I had just drop kicked a kitten. Needless to say, she didn't talk to me again for a while.  

The strange people were my favorite though, they made my day so much more interesting.  Lindsey was probably the strangest person and also a regular.  He was in his late sixties, extremely thin, wore thick glasses and had a humpback.  Everyday he would come in after the lunch rush and order the "harvest" with a shot of wheat grass.  However he would run off as quickly as possible because the sound of the juicer would cause him to cover his ears and rock back and forth, as if any second he were going to explode.  He usually paid with a ten dollar bill and afterward, would count the change out loud multiple times again while rocking.  He would usually talk about how bad his cataracts were getting or how frustrated he was with someone around him.  Sometimes he would ask me strange questions out of no where. On valentines day, he looked at the cupid stickers stuck to the sneeze guard of the salad bar and asked me, "What do you think it would be like if cupid had a crossbow??"  "hmm, I don't lindsey, I've never really thought about it, probably not so romantic huh? I said.  Lindsey was odd to say the least, but not someone I would soon forget.

There was one other regular I would never forget either.  His name was Paul, or "Paul the Juice guy".  Everyday he would come in and buy about four large glasses of vegetable juice. He was probably in his late fifties, tall, thin and seemed to be malnourished (He was a vegan, go figure).  He was always in good spirits with a big smile on his face and always had some encouraging words for anyone around.  He told me one day that he felt he was supposed to help me out, that he was supposed to take me under his wing and teach me about life.  After that, he came in everyday and would talk to me about different things to do or not do as I went through life.  The most important lesson he said, was to love everyone.  I did enjoy his conversation, but he often times got me into trouble because I wasn't on task while he was lecturing me.  However, somehow I never lost my job and I still found time to listen to what Paul the juice guy, had to say.

I closed most nights, and usually told Lance to pick me up an hour after I got off.

I tried my best to keep myself away from him as long as possible.  Even though it was usually late when we finished closing, and he still had a three mile bike ride ahead of him, Will would always talk and smoke cigarettes with me while I waited for my ride.  It was nice to finally feel like I had a real friend in Orlando.

First Day

I had been staying with Lance and his family for a little over a month when I finally got a job.  It was located about 25-20 minutes from Lance's house in Winter Park.  I really liked Winter Park.  It was a lot fancier than the area I was staying and the strip I worked in was really pretty with water fountains and cute shops.  The place I got a job at was called Chamberlin's Natural Foods.  It was a health food store that was all the rage with the local vegetarians and vegans.  I was to work in the Deli/ cafe` section of the store. My manager's name was Lari and She was about 5 foot, plump and had short bright red hair.  She talked to you as if she was going to reach over and pinch your cheeks at any moment and tell you what a good little girl you were!  I was given 7.50 an hour and 40 hours a week.  Honestly I would have worked there if she had only started me at three dollars. 

I was so excited my first day of work that I got up three hours early just to get ready.  I felt like it was my first day of middle school again or something. Lance's mom drove me to work that day.  She was the scariest driver ever, and had the worst road rage.  Her hip problem made her driving very jerky and needless to say I was extremely thankful that we had arrived in one piece.  I said thanks and hoped out of the car. 

 First they just put me on the cash registers for a while so I could get a hang of it, and then they sent me back to the deli area.  It was just Lari, a Black women named Teresa and a guy named Will that day. Lari gave me the run down of things and then sent me to Teresa to train. "My name is Teresa, but you can call me Motha Teresa, because I will be actin like yo motha while you here."  She was about my height and a little thick, about in her early forties. "Not a lot of people like me here because Im bossy, but I know how to get things done so they just deal with it."  I liked Teresa's personality, she was bossy, but she always had something funny to say about everyone and I liked that.  Teresa couldn't stand Lari and they were always getting into it. I didn't blame her though.  Lari got on my nerves really quickly.  Whenever Lari would tell you to do something, she would say it in this high pitched voice as if you were two years old and had just learned how to talk,.  She was obsessed with working, and Teresa told me that she even came in on her days off because she had nothing else to do. I did feel kinda bad for her after that, I mean you must be real lonely to come hang out at the place you work on your days off. 

Will was 19, the same age as me and was from Arkansas.  He was tall and had a thick build.  His hair was long and black and he had little thin mustache that reminded me of Zorro. His cheeks were really red all the time as if he had just finished running or something, and Teresa gave him a hard time about it. "What's wrong with yo face Will?  Why you all red? You should go to the doctor or something, you ain't supposed to be that red." She would say over and over.  I felt bad for him, he seemed really shy and Im sure that he was probably very self conscious about it.

The day seemed to fly by.  It felt so great to be away from that house, and Lance and when I finally snapped back to the reality that I had to go back I got really depressed.  I told Teresa the story about how I had moved here to be with a guy I met on the internet and how much older he was than me. "Girl you must be outta your mind! Whatchu doin here like this? you only a baby!" she yelled.  I knew I couldn't explain myself, I knew it was dumb but I didn't want to tell her the truth, that I was miserable. "I bet your momma is losin her mind right now with you gone!" 

"I don't know, she won't even talk to me." I said. I told her about how my parents had disowned me basically and that I hadn't talked to them in over a month now. "Oh, they just hurtin' cuz their baby's gone and they don't know what to do." she said and I guessed she was probably right. When it was time to leave and Lance pulled up, it took everything I had to look happy to see him.