The change

I was glad it took Lance a while to get back, I needed the time to think and let go.  I didn't want to have to talk about it with him.  When I got to the car he had that huge stupid grin on his face and he started in right away about how happy he was that I decided to stay and that I was doing the right thing.

We got back to his moms house and everyone seemed to look really surprised when they found out what I did. "Man you sure have some balls" Neil said. "yeah I could never do something like that" Carly chimed in.  I just kinda shrugged my shoulders and went upstairs. Lance walked in a little while after me."I have to go back to work tomorrow, and you are going to have to find a job so you can pay my mom for the food and rent. Then we should see about getting someone to drive your car down here."he said very flatly.  "ummm.. okay" I said, shocked at the abruptness of his demands. The he said, "However, tonight we are going to go out and party."  We went downstairs and ate some spaghetti and then left for the bars.  I was happy to see the strip, i was glad that I would have something to help get my mind off of all the drama that had been going on. First we went to a bar that looked like a cabin.  There weren't that many people inside but he said it was a good bar.  We sat down and a strange man walked up to us.  He was about 5'4" with long blonde hair in a pony tail, with the bottom half of his head shaved, and he had a bunch of beers in his hand.  "Who wants to shot gun!!!" He yelled, making a face like some professional wrestler getting ready to attack.  Of course I volunteered, free beer!  I went outside with him and two other guys and on the mark we stabbed our beers and chugged. Surprisingly I actually won the first round, but came in third the second.  Since I was never a big drinker, those two beers were enough to give me a pretty good buzz.  We walked down the strip to another place called Back booth.  It was bigger than the first place and had much more people in it, with a big screen showing music videos to what was playing.  There was a stage but no one playing. Lance showed me around to some of his friends and bought me drinks.  By the time we left I was more than wasted to say the least. 

All I remember about the drive home was loud music and lots of wind.  When we got to the house Lance took me upstairs and threw me on the bed.  Then he started taking off my clothes and kissing me heavily again.  They were so wet and gross, but I was drunk and didn't know what to do.  Everything was spinning like crazy and It was as if I didn't even have time to think about what was happening.  Before I knew it I was naked and things were going to a whole other level.  My heart was beating fast and I felt I was going to pass out so I just laid there and let it happen, I didn't know what else to do.  I tried to imagine he was someone else, or that I was the one who wanted this, but it didn't really help.  Despite the fact that the world was spinning, I could still make out his facial expression as he took complete advantage of me. His eyes were so dark and empty, and the way he looked at me made my skin crawl.  I waited for it to be over, but it seemed like hours.  After he finished he turned over and passed out and I laid there staring at the wall.  I was in shock.  It was like too much had happened in one day that I couldn't take it all in.  I couldn't believe how different he had become in just a day.  I felt like a fool.  I pulled myself as close to the wall as possible and shut my eyes tight.  Then one last thought went through my head before I finally fell asleep.  You really are all alone.